25 Apr Red carded!

It’s been a long while since I blogged. In fact I am quite astounded at how long it has been. That’s what happens to me if I don’t set goals. I drift.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve been busy “doing.”  I just haven’t been “doing” this.

I’ve been up levelling my skills as a Coach by training and I’ve been learning a lot about myself in the process. I’ve also been teaching and being Mum. So I have definitely been “doing”.

And now I’m broken. Again. My body has enforced a period of rest and recuperation because if I try to move anywhere I go dizzy and a very odd colour. I can sit though. And today (thankfully) I can think. It started yesterday. The thinking. Which was rather a relief because until then I couldn’t so I was beginning to wonder if I’d lost the ability.

And what I have been thinking is this: if we don’t look after ourselves properly and regularly, we get to a point when our bodies will “red card” us (to coin a phrase given to me by a lovely friend) then we are absolutely no good to anybody. Everybody I know has been affected by my illness: the kids I teach, my colleagues, my coaching clients, my husband and my daughter.

How very selfish I have been NOT to take care of myself properly. I just didn’t think. I ran along, working flat out, fitting in the gym periodically when nothing else demanded attention, eating take aways at least once a week because it was easy, drinking the odd glass of wine too many and expecting my body to deal with it. And I looked surprised when the whistle blew and I found myself in bed for 4 days straight feeling like death. What a fool.

When we are born, we are given one body to live in for the rest of our lives. That could be 90 years if we are lucky. I don’t think we keep anything else for that length of time.

    “To keep the body in good health is a duty…otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.” -Buddha

My car goes for a service whenever it says it is time for one (it bongs most insistently). I wouldn’t dream of not taking it or else it would simply stop working and I’d be lost.

I take my cats to the vets as soon as they start behaving oddly. Same with my daughter. The Doctor’s though, obviously.

If the hoover is full, I empty it.

If  the lawn needs mowing – my husband mows it.

Do you see what I am getting at?

How often do we put off health appointments, going to the gym, learning to meditate, cooking a more healthy meal because of “time”?

“I haven’t got time to go to the gym today, I must mark these books.”

“I will learn to meditate when I have time.”

“One day I’ll get to the Doctor’s about…”

Guess what? You’re not going to get time unless you MAKE time. Unless you prioritise yourself and make an appointment for you just as you would if your car needed a service or the one you love most needed you to do something for them, it’s not going to happen.

So it’s not a case of “I can’t spare the time”. It’s more a case of you can’t afford not to.

We live in a culture in which we grow up believing that to put our needs first is selfish. That we should prioritise everything and everyone else before us. I have come to the conclusion that actually, to put yourself last is the most selfish act of all. Because when you cease to function properly, you affect everyone else around you. And that doesn’t feel too comfortable.

So from now on I am going to practise self-care. I am going to set and honour self-care goals to include physical, mental and spiritual health. And I am going to place them as number 1 priorities. I am going to listen to my body for any insistent bonging and I am going to act on it. Immediately. Not “when I have time”.