31 Oct Personal Development should come with a health warning

Personal Development should come with a health warning.

Well, more of a relationship warning.

People do not like change. As a general statement – I know there are some that do embrace change but on the whole, people do not like it. They don’t like changes of circumstance, situation, place or people. They like familiar, consistent, predictable.

And so they resist change in themselves and in others. I don’t mean superficial change like hairstyles (although even that can be difficult for some or elicit a response in others) but in deeper change – habits, behaviours, boundaries.

We do it to ourselves, have you noticed? When you try and change a habit, your have to do battle with a part of yourself that tries to revert to previous patterns of behaviour. Start a diet, you crave your favourite comfort foods. Start exercising and it isn’t long before part of you persuades you to skip the gym or exercise class. Try to rewrite a script in your head about limiting beliefs and the Mind Monkeys kick up a fuss and repeat that limiting belief more than ever.

There is safety in familiar. And the brain likes to run well-rehearsed scripts so that it doesn’t have to expend energy making new ones.

It is evident in organisations – “We’ve always done it like that,” is often uttered when a new system is introduced, right? There is an inference that if something has to be changed then it wasn’t good enough before.

When you begin a journey of personal development, not only do you have to overcome that inner desire for things to remain the same, sometimes you have to deal with that desire in others around you. Partners, family, friends – they may wish you well and want to support you, but they may struggle with the idea that you feel uncomfortable about the status quo and are rejecting it and possibly, therefore, rejecting them and their way of doing things. Things might get a little bumpy and you may find that you feel like you are being called to justify your changes.

You don’t need to justify anything of course, but you may wish to gently and compassionately reassure them about what you are trying to do. Boundaries, for example, are your right but enforcing them (especially if you haven’t before) can be a very uncomfortable experience for those around you. prioritising your health or self-care may feel like you are putting other people’s needs lower down the pecking order, which they may not be used to, especially if you are one of life’s givers.

Does this mean you shouldn’t change? Of course not! It just means you will be tested and you may find things a bit choppy for a while.

But that’s OK. Because if you had the guts to make changes in the first place, then you’ve got all the tools you need to deal with those who aren’t ready for change yet or who are stuck in unhelpful patterns of behaviour. You never know, you might inspire them to change too!

You’ve got this!

And if you need back up, maybe a few coaching sessions with clear session goals and unquestioning support might be what you need to give you that extra courage. You can DM me on Facebook or Instagram, join my Facebook group Authentically Imperfect or e mail me directly. You can even book a Clarity Hour for a one off session to get you going.

You deserve to be the best version of you.