30 May A significant step in my journey.

Well, I’m feeling a bit like a dog with two tails at the moment! I am, obviously thrilled to bits with my lovely new website and the new look of my blog. The wonderful Kate at studioktr is very talented and has done a fab job, really efficiently and I have loved working with her. It’s always a bonus when a project leads you to meeting new people that you get on well with. We had a right laugh when she did my photos, dodging the dog poop and being photobombed by a duck! I hate having my photo taken, but you wouldn’t guess that from the ones that are now gracing my site. I think you can clearly see how well Kate put me at my ease.

The launch of the new website though, is much more than just an end product created by a talented young woman.

For me, it is a significant step in my journey. For me, and to others, it says “I’m really doing this.” All my life, I have been one of the world’s best procrastinators! I still battle with it daily. But this website shows me what happens when you act on your dreams instead of just dreaming about them.

You can learn new things at any time in your life if you’re willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you. -Barbara Sher

Last May I cobbled together a basic website and started blogging. By February this year I had decided that it just wasn’t going to do the job and that I was going to have to invest in a professional to get me what I wanted – a website to be proud of. That led me to Kate. I wanted to run when it was time to commit, but I said yes and went for it. When Kate sent me logo ideas, I dithered and dithered, agonising over which one to choose. But I went with a few carefully chosen friends’ advice and my gut feeling and made a decision. And I love the end result. When Kate said “let’s get your photos done,” I thought of a hundred reasons to delay. But I didn’t delay. I set a date and we did them. And it was fun! In just over a month, I’ve gone from having a website I didn’t really want people to find, to having one that I want people to look at.

Why do I procrastinate so much? Why do any of us?

Fear of failure is one reason. You can’t fail at something you don’t start. I see this in my classroom every day. The child who will not write because they don’t think it will be the right thing to write. The child who will not try a maths problem because they don’t think they will be able to do it. There is a huge amount written now about “Growth Mindset”. This is the idea that intelligence is not fixed and that anybody can become better at anything. No one is born “good” at something. There is a wonderful Michael MacIntyre sketch about learning to walk. He points out that you don’t meet an adult at a party who is crawling along the floor and saying that they just couldn’t master walking! A baby falls many times before they become that indomitable force – a toddler! So it stands to reason that doing anything the first time around isn’t likely to end up being the finished article. We are all works in progress. My first foray into web design was fairly dire. I was proud that I had managed to produce something that actually went on the internet and I learnt a lot in the process. I also learnt that there were people out there far better equipped to do that job whilst I concentrated on developing my coaching skills. So did I fail? No. I learnt.

Related to this, is perfectionism. If I can’t do something perfectly, I’d rather not start it at all. Well, it’s amazing that I ever learnt to walk then! Surely, I should have sat down after the first tumble and said, “not doing that again because I can’t do it perfectly!!” Some 40 odd years later, I am still not able to do it perfectly as the bruises on my legs show, but I have managed to walk 4 Marathons so I guess I’m doing Ok. And most of the time I manage to stay upright! I will never be perfect at anything. I am a human being, not a robot and perfection isn’t going to happen, so I may as well just get on with stuff!

Motivation is another key reason. You have to connect with a strong “why” to want to do something. I really wanted a decent website because I want to reach as many people as possible in order to help them discover how wonderful coaching is and what a difference it can make. Clearly I want to make a living too, so I need to find clients. If you’re struggling to get going with something, ask yourself “why” you want to/need to do it in the first place. That can be tough if you don’t want to do it, or if it is actually someone else’s agenda. The key then is to look at what will happen if you don’t do it. Sometimes that in itself can be very motivating!

Another key thing, I think, is how we view pleasure. There is a study often quoted in teaching, about children who are given some sweets and a task to do. They are told that they can eat their sweets whenever they like and there is some amazing fact about those who delay their pleasure, in this case sweets, until the end of their task. I’d eat them before! If there is something more fun, more enjoyable to do, I will always choose to do that first…then whittle all the way through it about the “thing” that still needs to be done! How much more enjoyable would it be to get the “thing” out of the way so that the pleasurable reward can be truly enjoyed? I’m working on this one!

Edward Young, an English poet of the 1600s and 1700s said “Procrastination is the thief of time.” How right he was. Putting something off and whittling about it not only steals time, it steals precious thinking space and peace of mind. Especially if the task in question is going to have to be done at some point, whether you do it now or put it off until later. So, from my wonderful website action, I can remind myself how far I have come in a year, and that if I had put off so many decisions, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

It’s not a website, you’re looking at it. It’s a step towards dreams: Mine as a Life Coach; Kate’s as she adds to her business portfolio and yours, if you learn something here or choose to engage me as your coach and work towards your own.