29 Jan I don’t need a Coach! I am a Coach!

I don’t need a Coach, I am a Coach! I can coach myself. I know the questions to ask myself, I know how to set actions which lead me to my goal.

Well it’s true to an extent. I do have tips and tools at my disposal and I do know that a few hours reflection, asking myself questions and writing answers or setting goals and actions, will help me move forward most of the time.

But sometimes, I need a little help.

I, like you, am busy. The voice in my head that tells me I need some reflection time gets pushed aside by the louder one that screams “Ironing! Housework! Shopping! Then you can reflect but not now!” So, I might try to do a bit of planning in my head before I fall asleep or in the car going somewhere. However, if you don’t write things down, you forget them. Well I do – it might be my age! What I do not do, not regularly enough anyway, is plan an hour into my week to sit down and work on myself thoroughly, like a coaching session does.

Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful. -Margaret J. Wheatley

Then there’s the judgement thingy. Coaching is totally non-judgemental. Your coach is not there to say that what you are doing is good or bad, right or wrong. They are a listener, someone who helps you come up with your own options and possible solutions. They make you feel invincible because you have all the answers. When I try to do that for myself, a little negative voice might creep in saying “Are you kidding me? That won’t work!” I am working hard on shutting up that irritating so and so, but still it appears when I am trying to coach myself and it is not at all useful.

A Coach holds you to account somewhat. Former clients of mine tell me that one of the things that helped them most through the coaching process, was knowing that I would ask how they had got on with the action they had set themselves the previous session. Now, whilst I never told them off if they hadn’t achieved it, they would reflect on why they hadn’t, whereas if no one was asking about it, it could just slip away into the ether with no learning taking place. Sometimes, the reasons why they hadn’t taken the action, would teach them something really valuable Maybe they really didn’t like the goal they were aiming for. Maybe it was someone else’s goal and not actually theirs. Maybe they had come up with a better action. The action itself is less important than the learning that takes place.

An uninterrupted hour and no excuses!

My Coach gives me an hour to unpick where I am heading and what roadblocks I am putting in my own way. Talking with him means I cannot hide from my lack of forward momentum, behind excuses. He gives me tools and tips for how to get over hurdles. He makes me think harder about what I want, and what I don’t want, than I would on my own when I might let my mind wander to avoid something uncomfortable or that takes more effort to think about.

Wouldn’t you like an hour of undivided attention, all about how you can create the best version of you, reflecting and learning from what you do, with someone who will not judge you but will make you feel invincible? Who wouldn’t?!

I think of my Coach as my Sat Nav. I know where I want to go but I need the route clarifying. I need to know when I have gone off course and how to find detours or short cuts. He gives me space to identify when I need to make a legal u-turn and enables me to feel good about doing so. I could use a map instead. But they are slower and more cumbersome. No, I don’t need a Coach – but I am better with one because I get where I want to go more quickly and with more awareness.

That’s what a Coach does. That’s what I do for others. That’s my passion.